An hour and a half

1.5 hours of my life slipped elusively through my hands. 1.5 hours that I'll never get back. 1.5 hours was the time it took for me to make a concrete decision to despise something with a burning passion equal, coincidentally, to the burning love many hold for this ....


Twilight.


Awful, despicable, deplorable, BAD. These are the adjectives among a larger list of synonyms I use to describe the series by Stephanie Meyer. I didn't even finish the whole thing. I don't even know where to begin. Oh, I know, how about first with a couple things a good book and movie should have, but this series clearly doesn't: 1) creativity and 2) quality. Really now, I didn't know that a pathetic attempt at a Anne Rice (author of Interview with the Vampire series) fanction can become 2008-now's media obsession. Magazine after magazine feature what's his face that played Cedric Diggory and that pale Kristen something girl and now that Jacob dude. Oh, what? Is Edward supposed to be incredibly good looking and appealing? I'm sorry, I guess I didn't get the memo that pale, broody and expressionless was supposed to woo me into a helpless state of giggles and blushing.

Finally, after avoiding the thing for a year, I decided that I wanted to watch the first Twilight last week with a friend for comical purposes. Oh boy did we get our fair share of laughs.
"Why do they keep staring at each other?" "Yeah, awkward."
"Um, when I moved schools nobody really knew me or where I came from, why do people know everything about her already?"
"Is this acting? Are they supposed to sound like a sleepy robot?"

I am astounded -- ASTOUNDED at what a positive and almost obsessive response this movie has gotten from teenagers to middle-aged women alike. The fact that this movie has had such a following and such a high-drool reaction really stumps me. I mean, is it okay for your a guy to say things like "I want to kill you. I've never wanted a humans blood so much in my life." And then to be all like "..unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him" Is that romantic? Is that legal?

What are we trying to tell females here? This is like propaganda for pro-abusive relationships. It's okay that your boyfriend wants to kill you... yeah, you two have a special trust, connection thing so you should just stay in it with him. Oh, or maybe as long as he is an "attractive" and sparkly vampire, it's okay to have the characteristics of a sadistic creep. Did I mention he's like 600 years old and that he likes a 17 year old? Yeah, that's cool.

Right.