Identity

My identity consists of concrete facts -- age, date of birth, hair color, eye color, ethnicity. These are things that are undisputed and invariable. And then there are those other parts.

This 2010 has been a challenging year. Sometimes, I would relish in the freedom that was rewarded to me at graduation. Sometimes, I would wonder if I was a manic depressive. Sometimes, I would enjoy my youthful zest for adventures. Sometimes, I was just confused about who I am.

I think my Hawaii work trip provided something so far away from anything familiar, that it allowed me the space to reflect anew. It allowed me to live in a foreign context -- a perfect environment for clear self discoveries and breakthroughs in my identity.

Who I am. How I see myself. How others see me. I think these are all interrelated, shared and working together.

Sometimes I don't see something that's there.
Sometimes I see something that's not really there.

My identity is dynamic. Whether it is my own doing or the doing of my environment, I am constantly being shaped, moulded and revamped. I realized that as much as the identity is self-made and manipulated, so much of it is also out of our hands. There are some attributes that no matter what I try to do, will always be there or require time and experience to evolve. I will always be XYZ unless I painfully extract that part out. I don't think it was until really recently that I could accept that where I am is OK. That I don't have to be the ideal person and to just ... BE.

It's a good place to be :). And I hope to bring this outlook to the new places in life I will go...